No, I'm not crazy...

... but I would like to deliver my child naturally.

I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and the plan from the very beginning was to try and deliver naturally.

My mom did it as well as my mother in law. In fact, as I talk to the women of the generation preceding mine giving birth naturally doesn't sound so odd. In fact, it seems like it was just considered what you did. It sparked my interest though, because it seems like every one of my friends is insistent on an epidural upon arrival, and that's if they didn't have a scheduled induction. Also, an alarming number of my friends have had c-sections.

It got me thinking about a birth plan and what I really want.

My friend suggested I watch a film called "The Business of Being Born." The movie is documentary about home births. I went into it with as open a mind as I could, considering the idea of home birth seems so silly and risky to me. It focuses on a lot of reasons why delivering naturally is better for you and for your child, as well as a lot of ways that delivering in a hospital can hinder that birth plan.

So I sat down to watch it, expecting to be freaked out or scared by what I saw. The idea of watching women give birth naturally was terrifying. I noticed though, as I watched this film, that it had the opposite effect. The image of these women in their own environment doing what their body was made for was beautiful and comforting instead of scary and unnerving as I had previously assumed. I actually finished the movie feeling so relieved and excited about my choice to deliver without drugs. Now let me specify... I am still not sold on the idea of giving birth at home. I knew right away if my decision sent me anywhere aside from a hospital it would be at a birthing center located on the site of a hospital. If anything happens during labor, I want to be sure that I can be seen by a professional.

So then came my next bought of insanity that literally kept me awake for two nights. How am I to deliver naturally if it is so hard in a hospital? The film leaves the impression that doctors are bored with births that take too long. They want to speed things up in order to get you in recovery quicker and make room for the next patient. It was disturbing to see the way they depicted the hospital experience and made me uneasy about stepping foot in a hospital at all to deliver a child. What am I supposed to do when I'm writhing in pain, waiting for my doctor to deliver when she tells me that I'm in desperate need of something that maybe would be better for me. It definitely sheds doctors in the light of sneaky and incredibly pushy. That is not what I want out of my birth experience.

Granted, this is one film and I understand that. It could be a load of crap or just based off of a few experiences that aren't even close to where I live. I was so moved by this film that it just got me thinking though... What if I have another option that I never even knew was there?

I live in Boulder county, and while that makes sense for the sake of the movie, I can't help but wonder if that applies here at my hospital. Could I be hindering the chances of baby being born naturally? How am I supposed to make sure that I'm able to do this all and be supported?

So due to the fact that I am quite possibly insane, combined with the fact that this is important to me, I started interviewing friends that I know who have just had children as well as some women in my life who have had children in the past and done it naturally. I found that c-sections seemed surprisingly common, as well as being induced. In fact, one of my friends told me that most women were induced with their first child. Now I was just confused. Why was that rate so high? Why do women feel like that is normal?

So I did some research...

One statistic I read, revealed that 1 in 3 women have a c-section.

This terrified me. Be it true or not, the idea of a cesarean is absolutely horrifying. In fact, just reading this sent me on a mission looking into my other options. I'd never even thought about a midwife, but suddenly my research brought me there. I felt like a sell-out. No, I'm not a hippie! I eat meat, shave my armpits, and do all sorts of wasteful things, but when it comes to my child, I feel like I owe it to the little girl growing inside me to give her as fresh of a start as possible.

I'd never even considered another option! How could I have been so blind to the fact that an Obgyn was not my only choice? Many of my friends have been trying to scare me into choosing an epidural. While I appreciate that it will be painful, I also have chosen a different path. I don't mean to discredit anyone because I know delivery is different for everyone, but if so many women of the past have done it? What harm is there for me to try my hardest to make it happen?

So. All of this crazy ranting has brought me to a middle point. Can I deliver in a hospital naturally without being pressured into something I don't want? I've made an appointment with some midwives on the 9th to talk to them, as well as following up with the doctor I've been seeing to see how she feels about all of this. Right now I'm leaning towards the midwife, of course that doesn't mean that my crazy mind won't switch before I have to make this decision.

And now a question for all of you...

Has anyone had a natural childbirth? What was your experience and how did you manage the pain? Did you choose to deliver in a hospital or was it with a midwife at a birthing center or in your own home?